I knew this moment would come. I didn’t think it would come so soon. The honeymoon with the Obama administration is coming to a close. His shine is getting dingy as our nation’s First Black President and slowly assuming the role of everyday, regular President.

Many people who consider themselves experts on the subject have talked about how difficult it will be to mock our dear President. Obama has a sense of humor, but he isn’t very funny. Clinton ? Bush 43? Pure, comedy goldmines. Barack Obama isn’t that funny. He doesn’t say stupid things. He keeps his dick in his pants. His wife is FABULOUS. He doesn’t make up words.

So what in the hell are satirists, comedians and political cartoonists going to do for the next four, eight years? Not sure, but the NY Post got us off to a rousing start about how NOT to make fun of our President. Summary: There’s this dead chimp and the cops are like: “oh hey dude man someone else is gonna have to like write the stimulus bill and stuff, man”. Now, the same day Obama was signing the stimulus bill, a chimp went berserk and attacked this woman and had to be put down. Republicans and I were sad, albeit for different reasons.

So..how timely of the Post to link both stories with a drawing!

Except we live in America (or AmeriKKKa if you prefer) and a rose is not a rose is not a rose. In our history–hell, the history of western friggin’ civilization–Africans, Blacks, African-Americans, etc. have been compared to all sorts of primates. Now, chimps are the closest thing to homo sapiens in the animal world , so I consider this a better comparison than other shit I have been called in my life. However, dem is fightin’ words, Post. You are basically saying a monkey wrote the fucking stimulus package. And that monkey happens to be The First Black President.

Like his “first” “major” “political” “victory” since getting in office. (Some would argue keeping his Blackberry was a bigger win.) Victory is so questionable considering the shit didn’t pass with the bipartisan support he wanted, but that is not my point. That is shit for SamGrace to address, because she’s smart and stuff. My point is that this is like…a big fucking deal. Obama’s baby and whatnot. His heart. Now, mind you, he didn’t write the final thing. I would argue that Congress butchered and hacked it to death, so really that monkey could be Nancy Pelosi or Jim Boehner. Whatever.

So monkeys…Black people. Not cool. And of course, people got a bit sensitive over the pictorial. Who reads the Post anyway, really? But yeah, folks got in a tizzy. Because you know history and racism and all.

NOT TO MENTION! Cops…shooting a monkey! Cops shooting Black people. Like…too…close….to…home for some people. I mean…gosh: I could write a whole fucking dissertation on this cartoon and the fallout.

Some talking head said that if W were still President (and he has been compared to a monkey several times), this wouldn’t be an issue. Bingo! Context. I win.

My point? In the context of America ’s sordid racial past and the present reality with which it has a causal relationship, we can’t possibly be post-racial. Therefore, I am going to buy up a bunch copies of the infamous Post cartoon and mail it to every single white person (and clueless Black person. Like the ones who say we don’t need Black History Month anymore) who has ever said to me that President Obama shows us that race is no longer an issue. That Martin’s “dream is fulfilled” and any other hokey bullshit reference to Lincoln, King, slaves, Kunta Kinte, Kennedy, et al.

A Black President does not:

- eradicate our history or forgive racist sins

- prohibit or discount conversations about racial inequity in America

- Hide or discredit the fact that President Obama’s racial experience is not the same for all African-Americans, Black people, whatever you call yourself, ergo, just because he “made it” doesn’t mean we all can. People don’t have the same boots with which to pull straps up and whatnot.

- Prevent white people from saying and doing stupid shit that reflects ignorance of racial history, context and experiences other than their own. They will still not get their privilege. Which also means…

- Having a, or voting for a Black President DOES NOT count as knowing a Black   person. No exceptions on this one.

- Mean that Black men will suddenly stop being unjustly subject to extreme police violence, or overrepresented in the American prison population and all that jazz.

If we were indeed post-racial (and we’re not just in case my point was drowned out by my tangential writing), a monkey cartoon wouldn’t draw so much ire, or be so fucking stupid. It’d be a monkey. Writing a stimulus bill. That people think is stupid. Whatever.

And before someone posts a comment about “lightening up” or complaining about being too PC, let me stop you right there and drop this theory on you: Since white people (white men particularly) are the dominant class in this patriarchal (Will any post I have not include this word? No.) set-up that we have called American Society dba Western Civilization aka The World As We Know It, the onus is on the oppressor (whites in charge) to adjust it’s behavior, not the oppressed (um, like, EVERYONE ELSE). Because you have the power to control everything from language to history to context to authority. With that said, I don’t need to lighten up, neither does Al Sharpton. (He’s still annoying, but he loves the gays these days, so I like him for now.) He and I don’t have the power to shift reality, nor should we have the responsibility of shifting our perceptions. To do so, would negate and invalidate our experiences and our very fucking existence. Ignoring the gravity of the cartoon and even finding it funny does not change the fact that racism exists. It’s that simple, yet someone is bound to not fucking get it.

Listen: it’s just you and me. I will be frank with you. I don’t care about the cartoon. I didn’t care about the New Yorker cover. I get it. I have some political sensibility and a sense of humor. The cartoon is not necessarily the problem, but a real live example of why race still matters in this country. A dead monkey isn’t funny for so many reasons. That’s what people need to consider. It illuminates a bigger problem. It is but a mere messenger.

Now, I’m not encouraging people to get all jihad outside the Post offices (Barack ain’t Muhammad and we all know what happened with that cartoon), or burn down newspaper stands that carry their paper. Don’t fire the editor. Don’t fire the cartoonist or chop off his hands. I’m just sayin’. Just wanted to call bullshit on silly sallies/naive nancies/idiot ivans who think America is post-racial.

Two lessons here, folks:

1. We ain’t post-racial. Black President be damned.

2. Don’t make munkies domestic pets. It ain’t in God’s plan. (Yeah, I had to get all Intelligent Design on your asses.)

ALL MARILYN JEAN POSTS NOW FEATURING A-C-T-I-O-N ACTION STEPS!

Action steps:

1. Support a wild animal sanctuary.

2. Join NAACP or Amnesty International or some shit.

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